


selfish

by fangirl6202



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Anxious Racetrack Higgins, Big Brother Jack Kelly, Fights, Hurt Racetrack Higgins, Jack Kelly Being Right for Once, Jack being Jack, M/M, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl6202/pseuds/fangirl6202
Summary: Race flinched back at his brother's volume. Jack knew he hated it when people raised their voice at him.“This is why I didn’t want to tell you, Jack.”“You should have fucking told me as soon as you found out!"Race took in a deep breath, not sure if he should tell him but fuck, they were already being fucking honest weren’t they? Jack was already disappointed, what was more insult to injury?“Jack, I’ve known the entire time.”A beat of silence.“I’ve never been so ashamed of you.”_____
Relationships: Racetrack Higgins & Jack Kelly, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	selfish

“Anthony, how could you?”

Anthony.

He hated it when Jack called him that.

“I don’t see why you’re so upset,” Racetrack Higgins mumbled, crossing his arms and not bothering to look his brother in the eyes. He didn’t want to see whatever expression they were conveying, anything from anger to disgust. 

“Oh really? You don’t?!” He yelled, making Race flinch back at his volume. Jack knew he hated it when people raised their voices at him. 

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you, Jack.”

_ “You should have fucking told me as soon as you found out!" _

Race took in a deep breath, not sure if he should tell him but fuck, they were already being fucking honest weren’t they? Jack was already disappointed, what was more insult to injury?

“Jack, I’ve known the entire time.”

A beat of silence. 

“I’ve never been so ashamed of you.”

Whatever he had expected to hear, this wasn’t it. An unexpected jab of pain shot through him, and he let out a hurt gasp. 

“You-you don’t get to say that,”

Jack let out an indifferent scoff and Race felt tears building up, his cheeks burning up.

“I think I have the fucking grounds, Anthony.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Jack continued as if he hadn’t heard him. 

“Of all the  _ stupid  _ shit you’ve done, this takes the fucking cake--”

“How dare you?”

“-- I never would have expected this, Anthony. Not from you.”

“Don’t fucking call me that _.” _

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Jack asked, and Race found that he didn’t want to respond. Jack didn’t fucking deserve any explanation from him.

“I was thinking,” He muttered pointedly. “That, for maybe once in my life, I could be a little selfish.”

“Selfish?” Jack repeated, looking angrier than Race had ever seen him. 

Race watched as his brother crossed the room to where he stood, stopping when there was barely a foot in between them. 

“‘Selfish’ is when you take the last slice of pizza, Anthony,” Jack spat, pressing a finger into his chest. “ _ ‘Selfish’  _ is not letting someone else choose what you’re watching on movie night.” Race wasn’t sure how, but Jack was getting  _ angrier  _ as he spoke, volume rising until he was yelling right into Race’s face. “‘Selfish’ isn’t when you’re  _ fucking a married man!” _

“ _ He doesn’t love her!” _

The words were ripped out of his mouth before he could stop himself, and Jack even took a step back.

He took in a trembling breath, trying his hardest to not let his tears spill over. “He doesn’t love her.”

“Oh, and what? He loves  _ you? _ ”

“Yes.” 

Race didn’t hesitate, didn’t even have to think, because he  _ knew  _ Spot loved him. And he loved him.

“How are you so fucking naive?” Jack muttered, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What?” Race asked, forcing himself to find Jack’s gaze and keep it. “What, is it so unbelievable that someone likes me? That someone  _ loves  _ me for who I am and doesn’t try to fucking change me like  _ you  _ do ?”

His volume rose and rose until he was screaming so loudly, he just knew David and Crutchie could hear them from across the hall. Tears were now falling freely down his face, but he couldn’t stop to wipe them away. 

“Why is it so hard for you to accept that someone doesn’t find me fucking  _ repulsive?!”  _

The words probably rattled Jack, who had been telling him since childhood that just because his birth parents hadn’t loved him didn’t mean he was incapable of it. But Race wasn’t a kid anymore. Spot loved him and he was sure of it. 

“Get out.”

Race let out a sound of disbelief, but Jack didn’t let up. He saw tears in his brother’s eyes, but they both knew he wasn’t going to take it back.

“Get out of my apartment, Racer, and don’t come back until you’ve broken this off.”

He opened his mouth, but he realized he had nothing to say. Without another word, he grabbed his keys and shoved Jack out of his way.

Jack was wrong, wrong about everything, but it didn’t matter.

Race wasn’t going back anytime soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever looked at a pairing and thought "Hmm they've been too...happy lately" ? Because essentially that's what happened here 😂
> 
> I spent a month writing the fluffiest fic for these two and turned around to write this angst in an afternoon, which is hysterical to me for some reason. 
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed this, be aware that an extra-marital affair is never acceptable, and have a good day!
> 
> (comments are my life source so, pretty please??)


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